Let's LARP Payday

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

dreamybean:

starfleetinginterest:

what if the coins you find randomly at the bottom of drawers and in between couch cushions are actually from spiders trying to pay rent

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princessmeldrops:

So I went on Omegle last night with cute intentions, and…
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zajtsev:

FUCK

zajtsev:

FUCK

seancecafe:

We create fantasy because, without it, reality would be unbearable.
Illustration by Kristin Kest

seancecafe:

We create fantasy because, without it, reality would be unbearable.

Illustration by Kristin Kest

kazeit:

meetmeincalifornia:

artemisfowlstolemysoul:

bronephreinel:

 Imagine Person A singing “You are my sunshine” as Person B slowly dies in their arms

what THE FUCK 

I DIDN’T FUCKING NEED THAT RIGHT NOW

FUCK YOU

NOOO FUCK NO I THOUGHT OF ALL MY OTPS WHYYY

i-effed-it-all-up:

im in one of those periods in my life where i cant focus on anything i cant finish an assignment i cant listen to one song for more than 5 seconds i cant sit through a tv show episode i cant finish a book i cant write a story

all i can do is stare blankly at the wall and wish i had something to do but everything i could do or want to do is just supremely unsatisfying

If you don’t stop calling me that I’m gonna put the same curse that the Cubs have on the Cardinals.

Seamus (X)

(please do)

shitshilarious:

DAMMNIT SUSAN I SAID GET ME THE EXPENSE REPORTS NOT SIT AROUND WITH YOUR THUMB UP YOUR ASS

shitshilarious:

DAMMNIT SUSAN I SAID GET ME THE EXPENSE REPORTS NOT SIT AROUND WITH YOUR THUMB UP YOUR ASS